OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
