Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize