I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
NoShamevember. You game?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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