I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
