i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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