shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I wish they made helmets for livers.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
