i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I think my vagina is haunted
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
