if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize