i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
