white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
