when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
