How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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