When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize