wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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