did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
