Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
