bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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