New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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