I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
