hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
