but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
