Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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