just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
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