I will die if light touches me.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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