I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
