I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
