I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think a kid would responsible me up
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
