Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
