She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
