My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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