Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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