Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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