I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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