Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
