with your own penis?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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