Me. At least after what I've been through.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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