worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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