you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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