Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
