so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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