if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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