hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
