maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
