It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm at about main and main street
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize