She's JV to your varsity
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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