I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
