I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
