You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
