hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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