They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
