i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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