I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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