hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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