Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You ruined the universe
Randomize
