Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
