so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
