Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
