member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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