remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
