just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
