oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Text me some of your sweat
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