dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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